id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
