Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
