His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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