I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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