Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
