he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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