its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
