We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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