Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
