You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
