My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
