at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize