Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
