Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
