in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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