my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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