just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
