Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
