Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize