Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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