Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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