my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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