and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
