I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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