Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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