Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
