I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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