I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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