I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
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The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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