it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
