she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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