9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize