How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize