I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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