i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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