Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
