Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
