i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my phone needs a breathalizer
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize