it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
