Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
