at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't deserve a penis
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
