I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
