Kiss
Puke
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I party with great urgency now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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