Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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