You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
