hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
