Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Randomize
