I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
this is an emotional support booty call
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize