I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My vagina is officially offended.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
