i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think your dad took our porno
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
