I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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