It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
