and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
