I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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