Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
