Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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