the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
